not sure how you made the logical leap from protecting women from sexual violence equaling vengeance
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Replying to @MarisaKabas @zumumma
'It's sometimes necessary to use alternative methods for avoiding harm'.
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It rules out justice tho and can be used for vengeance. I think we'd all see the problem if men had an unsubstantiated list for women whose flirtation they didn't rate. I think a football team got disbanded once for doing something like this, didn't it?
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I used to be at the criminal bar, so I can see both sides of this. Some men probably should be in gaol. Others probably need to read Ovid or Debrett's and stop using poor social skills as an excuse for their charm deficit.
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I don't think people need to excuse this tho. Some people have shit social skills. There's a limit to how much time they should have to spend improving them. Some basics will do.
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*True Tory*: I'm not fond of excuses. In my tradition, 'try harder or expect a big fat zero' is legitimate advice :)
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I'm suggesting people with low social skills don't need to be excused. Other people can just deal with it. There are way more important things to spend time learning. You only really need learn them if you want to spend a lot of time being social & care about doing it well.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @_HelenDale and
I have shit social skills but the only consequence of this is that people don't ask me to lead social stuff very much which is a very desirable outcome. They still want me to talk and write about things that actually matter.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @_HelenDale and
There's such a huge difference between 'having poor social skills' and 'being an abusive arsehole' but I think this is getting blurred. I've always felt people expected better social skills from me because I am a woman but have also never bothered too much about living up to them
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On the plus side, much easier to be a straight woman who doesn't want commitment but did want sex. I could just approach a man and say 'Do you want to have sex and then never see each other again?' and the chances of him being offended, traumatised or feeling objectified very low
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