My mother told me that she so admired my natural mothering instincts because when I was born, I terrified her and she didn't know what to do with me. I didn't feel like that but I did get bored very quickly and resentful of not being able to think my own thoughts.
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I am critical of feminism, as I'm sure you've noticed, and I don't have much patience for 'cultural conditioning/brainwashing' arguments. I think 'women are being made to feel X and it must be stopped' approaches often become authoritarian and deny women responsibility & agency.
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Because they seem to imply that women cannot evaluate and choose whether or not to comply with common social norms - eg beauty norms, motherhood tropes, gender roles. This does not mean I think these things don't exist or that I have nothing at all to say about them.
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I have a lot to say about all of them. Well, not so much beauty norms because I think telling people what they should find attractive is probably pointless (but Jesus Christ, young women, what the hell are you doing with your eyebrows?!)
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I don't find it remotely surprising that men are more attracted to slim women who favour a feminine appearance. I enjoyed being that for most of my life & intend to be slim again. I myself have always been attracted to slim men & women who favour a masculine appearance.
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Policing other people's attractions is futile and presumptuous. I have a lot more to say about gender roles but none of this is authoritarian. I don't think stereotypical ones need to be banned from public view or judged as a serious moral failing in individuals who choose them
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Because individuality and choice are primary to me. Apparently, this makes me a neo-liberal or 'choice feminist' and this is bad & means I don't understand how much women's choices are constrained by culture. Well, no, I don't.
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In some cultures and sub-cultures, of course they are. Threats of violence and social ostracism are not shaken off easily. I am lucky to have been raised in one where my choices about gender roles, gender expression, motherhood do not lead to either.
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Because I live in a culture with values individuality and choice. This means some individuals can choose to disapprove of me and say so. This might cause me sadness if they are my family or neighbours. They have the right to do so & it is very easy to find like-minded friends.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
I think the people who want to “destroy gender norms” rather than just give maximum freedom to individuals despite those norms, tend to just hate western society in general for some reason.
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This is often true but not always.
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