This is very true. There have been some surveys of women who have not had children & many express a deep sadness. But it is also common to hear women who have devoted lives to children mourn the other paths they did not take. 'What else could I have been?'https://twitter.com/clakklaa/status/957556348748812288 …
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I just think it's important to have a realistic expectation of parenthood. So many women feel inadequate or guilty because it's not the most fulfilling and wonderful thing ever and actually they get rather bored & irritated and long for bedtime so they can finish a thought.
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My mother told me that she so admired my natural mothering instincts because when I was born, I terrified her and she didn't know what to do with me. I didn't feel like that but I did get bored very quickly and resentful of not being able to think my own thoughts.
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I am critical of feminism, as I'm sure you've noticed, and I don't have much patience for 'cultural conditioning/brainwashing' arguments. I think 'women are being made to feel X and it must be stopped' approaches often become authoritarian and deny women responsibility & agency.
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Because they seem to imply that women cannot evaluate and choose whether or not to comply with common social norms - eg beauty norms, motherhood tropes, gender roles. This does not mean I think these things don't exist or that I have nothing at all to say about them.
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I have a lot to say about all of them. Well, not so much beauty norms because I think telling people what they should find attractive is probably pointless (but Jesus Christ, young women, what the hell are you doing with your eyebrows?!)
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I don't find it remotely surprising that men are more attracted to slim women who favour a feminine appearance. I enjoyed being that for most of my life & intend to be slim again. I myself have always been attracted to slim men & women who favour a masculine appearance.
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Policing other people's attractions is futile and presumptuous. I have a lot more to say about gender roles but none of this is authoritarian. I don't think stereotypical ones need to be banned from public view or judged as a serious moral failing in individuals who choose them
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Replying to @HPluckrose
What about paedophiles, Helen? They want it to be considered a sexual orientation. Thoughts?
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They have the right to identify this way and to argue this. They must not be punished for such speech. Non-offending paedophiles break no laws. They have no right at all to expect the rest of us to be receptive to hearing about this.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
But if it becomes recognised as a sexual orientation (by professionals or government), then refusing to hear about it might be considered discrimination, no?
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. I took satisfaction to mean "fulfills a need". Kids are at least one of the most important sources of satisfaction. Just ask someone who can't have kids. Careers, hobbies etc don't compensate.