This is very true. There have been some surveys of women who have not had children & many express a deep sadness. But it is also common to hear women who have devoted lives to children mourn the other paths they did not take. 'What else could I have been?'https://twitter.com/clakklaa/status/957556348748812288 …
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Policing other people's attractions is futile and presumptuous. I have a lot more to say about gender roles but none of this is authoritarian. I don't think stereotypical ones need to be banned from public view or judged as a serious moral failing in individuals who choose them
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Because individuality and choice are primary to me. Apparently, this makes me a neo-liberal or 'choice feminist' and this is bad & means I don't understand how much women's choices are constrained by culture. Well, no, I don't.
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In some cultures and sub-cultures, of course they are. Threats of violence and social ostracism are not shaken off easily. I am lucky to have been raised in one where my choices about gender roles, gender expression, motherhood do not lead to either.
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Because I live in a culture with values individuality and choice. This means some individuals can choose to disapprove of me and say so. This might cause me sadness if they are my family or neighbours. They have the right to do so & it is very easy to find like-minded friends.
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We must push back against any attempts to mandate which views about gender can and cannot be expressed in the public sphere - whether it's fears that women are being affected by slim models doing dishes or feminists criticising motherhood. Back off. We can cope.
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I will criticise traditional gender roles and blank slatism because they are both ideologically-motivated nonsense & annoying. We are overlapping populations. I'll still defend your right to believe & express annoying nonsense.
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I think the best thing we can do to limit the extent to which people feel constrained by social expectations is not to try to ban the ones we don't like but support those who defy them and do their own thing anyway. Normalise individuality, not a particular take on gender.
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End of conversation
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Heresy!!
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. I took satisfaction to mean "fulfills a need". Kids are at least one of the most important sources of satisfaction. Just ask someone who can't have kids. Careers, hobbies etc don't compensate.