I just think it's important to have a realistic expectation of parenthood. So many women feel inadequate or guilty because it's not the most fulfilling and wonderful thing ever and actually they get rather bored & irritated and long for bedtime so they can finish a thought.
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My mother told me that she so admired my natural mothering instincts because when I was born, I terrified her and she didn't know what to do with me. I didn't feel like that but I did get bored very quickly and resentful of not being able to think my own thoughts.
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I am critical of feminism, as I'm sure you've noticed, and I don't have much patience for 'cultural conditioning/brainwashing' arguments. I think 'women are being made to feel X and it must be stopped' approaches often become authoritarian and deny women responsibility & agency.
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Because they seem to imply that women cannot evaluate and choose whether or not to comply with common social norms - eg beauty norms, motherhood tropes, gender roles. This does not mean I think these things don't exist or that I have nothing at all to say about them.
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I have a lot to say about all of them. Well, not so much beauty norms because I think telling people what they should find attractive is probably pointless (but Jesus Christ, young women, what the hell are you doing with your eyebrows?!)
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I don't find it remotely surprising that men are more attracted to slim women who favour a feminine appearance. I enjoyed being that for most of my life & intend to be slim again. I myself have always been attracted to slim men & women who favour a masculine appearance.
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Policing other people's attractions is futile and presumptuous. I have a lot more to say about gender roles but none of this is authoritarian. I don't think stereotypical ones need to be banned from public view or judged as a serious moral failing in individuals who choose them
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Because individuality and choice are primary to me. Apparently, this makes me a neo-liberal or 'choice feminist' and this is bad & means I don't understand how much women's choices are constrained by culture. Well, no, I don't.
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In some cultures and sub-cultures, of course they are. Threats of violence and social ostracism are not shaken off easily. I am lucky to have been raised in one where my choices about gender roles, gender expression, motherhood do not lead to either.
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Because I live in a culture with values individuality and choice. This means some individuals can choose to disapprove of me and say so. This might cause me sadness if they are my family or neighbours. They have the right to do so & it is very easy to find like-minded friends.
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We must push back against any attempts to mandate which views about gender can and cannot be expressed in the public sphere - whether it's fears that women are being affected by slim models doing dishes or feminists criticising motherhood. Back off. We can cope.
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I will criticise traditional gender roles and blank slatism because they are both ideologically-motivated nonsense & annoying. We are overlapping populations. I'll still defend your right to believe & express annoying nonsense.
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I think the best thing we can do to limit the extent to which people feel constrained by social expectations is not to try to ban the ones we don't like but support those who defy them and do their own thing anyway. Normalise individuality, not a particular take on gender.
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Then there's this. Jack Paar: What did you want to be when you were a child? Oscar Levant: An orphan.
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I wish I had not done contract work when my kids were small. I would have enjoyed their early years more and with less stress.
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'What else could I have been?' is pretty universal when hitting middle age and realising how many doors are now closed forever.
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Isn't it true? But I prefer this to the fate that would have awaited me not so long ago, namely to have very little choice at all.
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As a 43 year old man who hasn't fathered children, I deeply regret not doing it. There isn't anything about my current life that I would regret to give up, or any experiences in the past 10 years I wouldn't have missed. Its personal, of course, but can regret not parenting too
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I find it increasingly difficult to find real meaning in life now as a result
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. I took satisfaction to mean "fulfills a need". Kids are at least one of the most important sources of satisfaction. Just ask someone who can't have kids. Careers, hobbies etc don't compensate.