Saying something is 'tone deaf' is not an ethical argument against it. First you need to show the tone it is not hitting is one that should be hit.
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Nevertheless, some people who are all for disrupting hegemonic cultural norms and dominant discourses in some circumstances suddenly discover a new-found respect for authority and convention when the dominant views are their own.
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I have just finished reading a paper which looked at the way trans people who were also trans activists went about disrupting the norms and expectations at their workplace. There was much approval & no mention of tone-deafness.
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That is a good thing, I think, although it could get rather tiresome if you're just trying to do your job and your colleagues keep deconstructing gender binaries all over the place. Much better to do so in, say, a memo.
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End of conversation
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