I am very patient with people who are having genuine difficulty explaining their point. It's the people who don't even try to make sense. The people who don't see making sense as a prerequisite to a conversation. They think it's going just fine even tho they're not making any.
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I have no idea why people keep sending me this. OK, I do and it's true but it's not what I mean in this case. I can see people being wrong and have a strong need to tell them so but I am not angry with them and I can also see it & just not be bothered.pic.twitter.com/GbuLImuVYr
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This could have many reasons tbh. I suspect because you overestimate a lot of ppl. So expectations aren’t met. But it depends on what your goal is.
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And what is theirs? Big fat chance they are different. Voila, problem.
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Yeah but that's OK if I can understand that. It's when I don't know what they're on about at all. I feel 'How dare you be confusing to me and not let me get at your point?!'
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I meant: Your goal is to understand and make sense of their point. But what if their goal is not to help you understand? And what if they aren’t sure about their own point at all?
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Many people aren’t : 1. As Well spoken 2, as sure of their positions and why 3. Willing to explain 4. Interested in being understood 5. Bothered with understanding you
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But why would this make me so angry.
@Goddoesnt doesn't get this angry. He can just shrug them off as not worth his time. I feel like I want to pin them to a chair and make them explain themselves. (I'm never going to actually do that. Don't notify the police) -
Well, this is the “you” part. You have expectations. They aren’t met. James doesn’t have this problem, true. You need to accept that some ppl are less intelligent. And some unwilling.
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Well, I can work on that. I'd also be interested to know what is at the root of this being the thing to light my touchpaper tho. Why its so important to me that things make sense even if it doesn't matter - complete stranger with 12 followers.
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@Goddoesnt is currently making the same point. -
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No, I just thought it was interesting you both saw the same parallel.
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Maybe you're just competitive, Helen. And competitiveness is not bad. It pushes knowledge+research (in the sciences, for example) forward. I dunno if this applies to you, but most of us (instinctively) don't like competitive women. I'm competitive+don't always like myself for it.
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I don't think it's that. Then I'd be angry with people who made better arguments than me, not with people who don't make any sense. Sometimes, I do feel a pang of envy for people who write better or make better arguments but this is quite different & I squash it & congratulate.
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I take your point, but I'm thinking of a more subtle competitiveness that arises when one wants to correct people (or in your case, sort them out). I'm putting this forth as a theory only since I don't know you personally. Ppl may also feel daunted by you. :)
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Yes, but I think this applies more to people who are being wrong and then I can quite often ignore. I am talking about people who don't make any sense. The not making sense really troubles me. I need a resolution of some kind. I think it is connected to OCD.
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Ah. Okay. That might be the case, then. I can get obsessive over odd and unexpected things. Mind loops, and all that.
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