Do I detect you being femsplained at?
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Seems so.
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There's always one, and some people are that one way too much of the time...
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I can see how some1 would not care how you described yourself because they supported your ideas, but for him to imply he needs u to have certain ideas b4 ur free to describe yourself how u want is him stepping over the line. & thanking him for it will just encourage him.
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Get. Over It. If someone whose writing I admire says they lack certain traits I like, I might say to them that this is fine and to carry on doing what they are doing intellectually. This would not be telling them what to do. It would be supportive.
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... so they can't have those traits or be proud of having those traits as soon as you stop liking their writing? Ok...i don't think that's up to you to decide for themselves any more than I think your status as feminine or unfeminine is up to him.
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I think in their worldview feminine vis a vis women is defined by each individual woman, it’s not an absolute or well defined set of traits, so for a man to even say you’re unfeminine is mansplaining femininity to you, which of course it’s not up to him to define.
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Being yourself is pure patriarchal oppression. How very dare you enable the system.
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I could see the bad implication of “you should be feminine unless you’re doing stuff I like”. Ie. women should either be feminine or doing stuff that he deems valuable. Which is rude, but it’s now blasphemy for men to opine on women’s lives, choices, or societal contributions
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