I feel very strongly about parenting, not because I think that it makes a huge difference to how the child will turn out but because I think it makes a huge difference to how children experience childhood.
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My memory of childhood was of finding being controlled unbearable and always wanting to be left alone and to be independent and my own person and being quite difficult because of it.
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And this wasn't because my parents were authoritarian. On the contrary, they indulged this much more than most parents would because my dad was exactly the same - deeply introverted, private, independent-minded. He got it.
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And this strongly suggests that these traits of mine are genetic rather than socially imposed because it wasn't my introverted dad who brought me up but my extrovert mum. She mostly left me alone tho so I was very lucky really.
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But I think even kids who are not particularly individualistic and independent-minded have a hard time dealing with having their lives controlled because...well, why wouldn't you?
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Replying to @GrowTheFuckUp66 @HPluckrose
My sister was a worst case scenario ‘smother/helicopter parent’. She died when her kids were 10, 14 & 15. You never saw such lost kids in your entire life. They went from that to a totally uninvolved (probably highly depressed) father. They had zero life skills & had no idea how
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Replying to @GrowTheFuckUp66 @HPluckrose
I WANT to step in and help him (my BIL) but he has harshly rejected us all and they’ve become shut-ins. He’s a complete recluse, always has been. We’ve tried. I’ve really tried to be close to them.
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They'll know you're there if they need someone to talk to.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @GrowTheFuckUp66
Yeah. I want them to know that. I hope they know that. I don’t care how many years pass my arms will always be open.
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