Art is the way to go. I mean it literally when I say I want my kids to deal with their anger 'constructively'. Other than that I counsel them, we talk & they're allowed to express themselves calmly to me about their problems. I can't help them if I don't know what's wrong.
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Replying to @SolarisRex
But privacy is also important. You're not entitled to their feelings and they don't have to want your help.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Privacy is earned with age. An infant has no right to privacy while a 15 yr old needs it. As for my help, they don't have to want it. I'm their parent, I'm obligated to care for them while they're in my house. That's attentive parenting.
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Replying to @SolarisRex
They have the right to keep their own feelings private until they want to share them for as long as they live. No-one has the right to access anyone's else's mind just as they don't have the right to access their body.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex
My parents were incredibly liberal but I still found it very hard to tolerate any intrusion into my mind or attempts to control me. I ended up remaining in my room as much as possible and leaving home as soon as legally old enough. Independence was everything
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Replying to @HPluckrose
It doesn't sound like your parents set appropriate boundaries for you. I'm not judging, but you left home early, feel that violence is acceptable to 'express' anger, take your anger out on loved ones & think that children have the same right to privacy that adults do.
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Replying to @SolarisRex @HPluckrose
None of that sounds good. It just doesn't.
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Replying to @SolarisRex
But I could frame your stuff this way and say something about you helicopter parenting and not allowing your children to express emotion or have any privacy or autonomy and don't teach them to have and resolve conflict. That almost certainly wouldn't be fair either.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex
Hmm, if there’s one thing I really hate it’s when people judge the parenting styles of others. FTR Helen you sound like a very thoughtful and excellent mom.
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XD
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