Yes. Appropriate display of anger. On inanimate object that is unharmed rather than on people. I have also been known to bang doors when cross. Usually kitchen cupboards.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
And does it escalate to throwing things next? Where's the line when rude & destructive displays of anger are tolerated? Is cursing at you next? You've already shown a tolerance for rudeness. Why shouldn't she?
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Replying to @SolarisRex
She knows where the line is. For us, slamming her own door is on the right side of it. Being abusive or violent to people is not. I don't want to have to stop showing anger when I feel it and feel directing it an inanimate objects in her own space is appropriate.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Nor should you, but violent displays can easily lead to larger violent displays because a little violence is ok, why is more not? I'm not saying don't feel anger, that's ludicrous. I'm merely saying be careful. You aren't always teaching them what you think you're teaching them.
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Replying to @SolarisRex
We'll have to disagree on this. We have lines in different places. Presumably you'd be ok with your child going into her room and punching her pillow when she feels like screaming at you? Or do you fear this could lead to a larger violent display?
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Art is the way to go. I mean it literally when I say I want my kids to deal with their anger 'constructively'. Other than that I counsel them, we talk & they're allowed to express themselves calmly to me about their problems. I can't help them if I don't know what's wrong.
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Replying to @SolarisRex
But privacy is also important. You're not entitled to their feelings and they don't have to want your help.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Privacy is earned with age. An infant has no right to privacy while a 15 yr old needs it. As for my help, they don't have to want it. I'm their parent, I'm obligated to care for them while they're in my house. That's attentive parenting.
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Replying to @SolarisRex
They have the right to keep their own feelings private until they want to share them for as long as they live. No-one has the right to access anyone's else's mind just as they don't have the right to access their body.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex
My parents were incredibly liberal but I still found it very hard to tolerate any intrusion into my mind or attempts to control me. I ended up remaining in my room as much as possible and leaving home as soon as legally old enough. Independence was everything
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Fortunately, my father was exactly the same so he understood and I didn't feel like a freak so I kept in touch with them after I left. I don't think I would have done had they been even averagely intrusive.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
The way that you phrase things makes me think you don't, or didn't have the best relationship with your parents, that they didn't do a great job & that you left early bc of them.
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