You tolerate door slamming? Neither I nor my spouse do, I wouldn't recommend it either. It's disrespectful to you, or whomever gets the door slam.
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Fortunately, my father was exactly the same so he understood and I didn't feel like a freak so I kept in touch with them after I left. I don't think I would have done had they been even averagely intrusive.
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It doesn't sound like your parents set appropriate boundaries for you. I'm not judging, but you left home early, feel that violence is acceptable to 'express' anger, take your anger out on loved ones & think that children have the same right to privacy that adults do.
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None of that sounds good. It just doesn't.
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But I could frame your stuff this way and say something about you helicopter parenting and not allowing your children to express emotion or have any privacy or autonomy and don't teach them to have and resolve conflict. That almost certainly wouldn't be fair either.
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Hmm, if there’s one thing I really hate it’s when people judge the parenting styles of others. FTR Helen you sound like a very thoughtful and excellent mom.
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How sad....
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