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HPluckrose's profile
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
@HPluckrose

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Helen Pluckrose

@HPluckrose

Editor @AreoMagazine Secular, liberal humanist. Mother. Doglover. Writing book about epistemology & ethics on the academic left Helen.pluckrose@areomagazine.com

London.
areomagazine.com/author/hpluckr…
Joined August 2011

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    1. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      You tolerate door slamming? Neither I nor my spouse do, I wouldn't recommend it either. It's disrespectful to you, or whomever gets the door slam.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @SolarisRex

      Yes. Appropriate display of anger. On inanimate object that is unharmed rather than on people. I have also been known to bang doors when cross. Usually kitchen cupboards.

      1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
    3. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      And does it escalate to throwing things next? Where's the line when rude & destructive displays of anger are tolerated? Is cursing at you next? You've already shown a tolerance for rudeness. Why shouldn't she?

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @SolarisRex

      She knows where the line is. For us, slamming her own door is on the right side of it. Being abusive or violent to people is not. I don't want to have to stop showing anger when I feel it and feel directing it an inanimate objects in her own space is appropriate.

      2 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
    5. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      Nor should you, but violent displays can easily lead to larger violent displays because a little violence is ok, why is more not? I'm not saying don't feel anger, that's ludicrous. I'm merely saying be careful. You aren't always teaching them what you think you're teaching them.

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    6. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @SolarisRex

      We'll have to disagree on this. We have lines in different places. Presumably you'd be ok with your child going into her room and punching her pillow when she feels like screaming at you? Or do you fear this could lead to a larger violent display?

      2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
    7. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      Art is the way to go. I mean it literally when I say I want my kids to deal with their anger 'constructively'. Other than that I counsel them, we talk & they're allowed to express themselves calmly to me about their problems. I can't help them if I don't know what's wrong.

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    8. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @SolarisRex

      But privacy is also important. You're not entitled to their feelings and they don't have to want your help.

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
    9. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      Privacy is earned with age. An infant has no right to privacy while a 15 yr old needs it. As for my help, they don't have to want it. I'm their parent, I'm obligated to care for them while they're in my house. That's attentive parenting.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    10. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @SolarisRex

      They have the right to keep their own feelings private until they want to share them for as long as they live. No-one has the right to access anyone's else's mind just as they don't have the right to access their body.

      2 replies 1 retweet 11 likes
      Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex

      My parents were incredibly liberal but I still found it very hard to tolerate any intrusion into my mind or attempts to control me. I ended up remaining in my room as much as possible and leaving home as soon as legally old enough. Independence was everything

      1:49 PM - 19 Dec 2017
      • 1 Retweet
      • 7 Likes
      • ♿🔯 Grundfest-Frigeri  #GiveAssangeANobel Ben Bryant Crawford GOOD PUPPER Man of Culture antihero_kate
      3 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex

          Fortunately, my father was exactly the same so he understood and I didn't feel like a freak so I kept in touch with them after I left. I don't think I would have done had they been even averagely intrusive.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. 1 more reply
        1. New conversation
        2. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          It doesn't sound like your parents set appropriate boundaries for you. I'm not judging, but you left home early, feel that violence is acceptable to 'express' anger, take your anger out on loved ones & think that children have the same right to privacy that adults do.

          3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Solaris Rex‏ @SolarisRex 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @SolarisRex @HPluckrose

          None of that sounds good. It just doesn't.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @SolarisRex

          But I could frame your stuff this way and say something about you helicopter parenting and not allowing your children to express emotion or have any privacy or autonomy and don't teach them to have and resolve conflict. That almost certainly wouldn't be fair either.

          2 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
        5. antihero_kate‏ @antihero_kate 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex

          Hmm, if there’s one thing I really hate it’s when people judge the parenting styles of others. FTR Helen you sound like a very thoughtful and excellent mom.

          2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @GrowTheFuckUp66 @antihero_kate @SolarisRex

          XD

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        8. End of conversation
        1. Peter Wood‏ @highconstable 19 Dec 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose @SolarisRex

          How sad....

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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