Me: (Calling upstairs) You OK, Sweetheart?
Teenager: YEEESSSSSS!!!! (Slams door)
Well, I'm convinced.
#Teenagers #DontHaveEm #JustSayNo
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That also enabled me to go and have some calm down time when I felt at risk of losing my temper with her.
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And this I understand more than you can know. I have three girls. Each is almost 2 years apart, & the middle is autistic. There were many times I had to put them in their cribs and go outside. I understand that, and don't think less of you for it.
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Mine is also somewhere on the ASD. Well, no, its the right thing to do. Go away. I also close the door and say 'fuck, cunt, bollocks, wanker' etc to relieve feelings and come out again. Sometimes I slam a door.
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Small aside, I love British swears.
I agree it's better than directly hurting someone, but you have to admit that there's uncontrolled anger, and violence, in the act. Even if it's an inanimate object, it's still unhealthy. Is slashing tires ok bc it's an inanimate object? -
Yes, if that's what you've bought them for. If that it what helps you release anger. I don't think it is uncontrolled. She wasn't possessed. She expressed anger appropriately. A foster carer I read smashes old plates with her troubled kids
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And if it's someone else's? Do you think the normalization of violence to 'express' anger only ends where you tell her it does, when you've already shown that you'l take your anger out on her, and your spouse? She sees this. I'm betting she's not dumb since she's your kid.
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Yes. We all set lines about which way is OK to express anger. Do you think your kids will always stick by your rules? Yes, she knows people in relationships get annoyed and argue & its not a catastrophe? Do you think your girls will cope with life if they don't know this?
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Of course, they do know this. Even if they are not shown at home that people who love each other can express anger at each other and that's OK, they'll see other kids have arguments and make-up and learn how to manage relationships and feelings.
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But you just let her unleash them on you. You tolerated her being rude to you, which she knows is acceptable. Who else has she slammed a door in the face of? Did they deserve it? Do you know? Of course not, you aren't with her 24/7 anymore, nor should you be. That's the point.
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No, I didn't. She slammed a door, not me. And no, I don't tolerate her being rude to me. I do know. She is either here, at school or at her best friend's house. She is exceptionally polite and the school has actually put her in assertiveness and confidence building classes.
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Art of some form would also help with that. Be it drawing, knitting, carving or pottery. Bringing your ideas into the world can be a wonderful confidence boost to anyone, but especially a child.
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She has no interest in this and I will let her spend her limited free time on what does interest her.
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I'm not ordering you to do anything, I'm simply saying that there could be something creative out there that she might enjoy that could help her build confidence in herself.
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And believe it or not, I'm aware of this.
End of conversation
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