Currently having an argument about whether cisgendered people are obsessed by gender. I think this is nuts. We're the ones who don't have to be. Our gender matches our biological sex & no-one questions it.
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Apparently, what I really mean by this is: So...what you’re saying is you’re cis, and you think it’s ok for you to be obsessed with gender because there’s more of you?
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Apparently, I need to accept that I am enforcing my gender norms on trans people by having more common ones. It's irrelevant that I actively promote acceptance of gender-nonconformity.
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I try to be supportive. I really do. I just don't think cis people are generally more obsessed with gender than trans activists because we don't tend to need to think about it that much.pic.twitter.com/5cjuOjEVfC
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End of conversation
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it’s 100% unconscious here. I honestly don’t consider it.
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I'm obsessed with gender the same way I'm obsessed with air, or a fish is obsessed with water. As long as everything is as it should be, you don't even notice it.
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I'm done now. As usual, I write to you, Helen Pluckrose, with the greatest respect.
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So despite everything, men will call me mate and try to treat me like a man once they hear my voice. Women will sympathise. Again, generalities, which makes it so that everyhting I have said is not an absolute.
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My safe spaces are roleplayers, the ladies loo, full makeup and a high voice. That voice, i don't have it, because I spent the two years prior to coming out training my voice DOWN so I could read my writing in a deep voice.
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IN my experience, men "police" gender more than women, and seem to find my very existence an offence. Women support me, generally, in a ratio of about 100 to 1. men provide not support at all, even friends, even when they think they are doing so. (Sorry Men).
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Cis-people, um big generalisation coming, seem to "police" gender to a greater or lesser degree. The progressive absorb and accept without comment, the ass-holes have to say something. The worst ask about my genitalia, or, at their own risk, abuse me.
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I was also upset and dismayed, before I came out as Trans, when I was told that "all" (YMMV) women risk assess all men, on some level, because it is an automatic, essential safety function. As a Trans person I do that now. doesn't feel great.
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It's a long thought. I think women have to put thought into the consequences of being women, and that takes effort...
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