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HPluckrose's profile
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
@HPluckrose

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Helen Pluckrose

@HPluckrose

Editor @AreoMagazine Secular, liberal humanist. Mother. Doglover. Writing book about epistemology & ethics on the academic left Helen.pluckrose@areomagazine.com

London.
areomagazine.com/author/hpluckr…
Joined August 2011

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    Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 5 Dec 2017

    Helen Pluckrose Retweeted Jessica Huseman

    Some men have told me they'd appreciate such compliments and wish women gave more of them. Perhaps that's why? The golden rule doesn't always work when it comes to gender differences.https://twitter.com/JessicaHuseman/status/938145534182920193 …

    Helen Pluckrose added,

    Jessica HusemanVerified account @JessicaHuseman
    It's never occurred to me to go up to a male colleague and say, "I like those pants," or "You look nice today." Do men feel that women want to be complimented on their appearance all the time? Why?
    Show this thread
    12:45 PM - 5 Dec 2017
    • 5 Retweets
    • 38 Likes
    • Manchu 🇨🇦 K@ Regina🎃 Paul Carbone Word Candy ConNerf Herder Theme Song To Buffy Habib Tracy Miller 142 Toll Versterkt
    9 replies 5 retweets 38 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Steve Mundie‏ @SteveMundie 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        Explicit attention to physical details is one way, man to woman, a reversal would imply that the man is attractive, a recognition that would derail the traditional gender dynamic.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Greg Stevens‏Verified account @gregstevens 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @SteveMundie @HPluckrose

        I constantly get compliments on my haircut or clothing from female coworkers, and it’s possible that no “derailing” occurs because I’m openly gay. But I also get compliments on my clothes from straight male coworkers. Does that “derail” the workplace dynamic?

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @gregstevens @SteveMundie

        I don't think so. Often women refrain from complimenting straight men's appearances and feel a little uneasy if they compliment theirs because of men's tendency to overinfer sexual interest & potential for misunderstanding. You are safe in that regard.

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @gregstevens @SteveMundie

        Helen Pluckrose Retweeted Mike

        My friend was explaining a much more straightforward dynamic among gay men!https://twitter.com/citation_needed/status/936844669907898369 …

        Helen Pluckrose added,

        Mike @citation_needed
        Replying to @IonaItalia @MetaRantz
        More that we just speak very plainly and are totally honest. I have had incidents in bars and clubs which went - Me; "You're cute." Him; "So are you." Me; "Sex?" Him; "OK." [we leave]
        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. Greg Stevens‏Verified account @gregstevens 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @SteveMundie

        Ha! That is definitely accurate, at least in some circles. I just find it interesting that I get compliments from straight men, who for whatever reason never worry that I will “over-infer” their meaning. (I mean, this isn’t some kind of mystery or anything...just interesting)

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @gregstevens @SteveMundie

        It is interesting. They probably aren't accustomed to worrying about this whereas women learn to be careful not to give the wrong message. I find it very positive that your straight male colleagues are not worried that they will be misunderstood for complimenting a gay man tho.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. Greg Stevens‏Verified account @gregstevens 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @SteveMundie

        I think it’s good, but in some ways it also illustrates how much of a psycho-socio-emotional minefield this whole area is quite independent from the sexism / gender-relations aspect of it. For example... (c)

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      9. Greg Stevens‏Verified account @gregstevens 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @gregstevens @HPluckrose @SteveMundie

        Situation: very hot straight guy I’m bonding with decides to show me the scar from the bullet wound when he was in the service. Fine, but the scar is on his ass. He thinks nothing of dropping his pants to show me because it’s “just guy talk” and we’re bonding.....

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      10. 3 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @canadopia @EmilyDavisonSuf

        Speak to me civilly if you want to discuss. I don't respond to people who tweet abusively at strangers.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Detached Female Object‏ @canadopia 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @EmilyDavisonSuf

        Aw. Poor baby.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. MarleneJ‏ @mjaeckel 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        I compliment men and women in equal measure. I see no problem in telling a man that he’s wearing a nice suit, an interesting tie, or that he’s wearing a pleasant type of cologne. Most men seem to genuinely appreciate it.

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @mjaeckel

        Yeah. I have no problem complimenting clothes either. It's bodies that get awkward and are probably best avoided, I think!

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Ⓨⓐⓣⓘⓜⓐ Ⓞⓕ Ⓚⓞⓝⓘⓢⓗⓘ‏ @YatimaOfKonishi 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @mjaeckel

        I'm a dude and I'll tell a guy that they're wearing nice clothes or looking particularly sharp. My male friends do it too. It's just a nice thing to do to anyone.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. MarleneJ‏ @mjaeckel 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @YatimaOfKonishi @HPluckrose

        It’s also a good conversation starter. “I love those shoes! Would you mind telling me where you got them?” And off it goes.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. Ⓨⓐⓣⓘⓜⓐ Ⓞⓕ Ⓚⓞⓝⓘⓢⓗⓘ‏ @YatimaOfKonishi 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @mjaeckel @HPluckrose

        I just can't imagine what is wrong with adding some positivity to someone else's life. Life is difficult, so let's at least be kind to each other. ...And *as if* people buy nice clothes for them to not be noticed.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      7. MarleneJ‏ @mjaeckel 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @YatimaOfKonishi @HPluckrose

        So true. Smiles and kindness are free, so there’s really no excuse to not give some.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      8. End of conversation
      1. Hemnecron‏ @Lord_OfBlood 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        There's a girl in my class who often gives such compliments, and the only times I find it uncomfortable, it's when it makes me jealous of some other guy, not when she compliments me... I mean how can you not like compliments?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Sceptical Canuck‏ @Surrey_Atheist 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        I come here for the #FoodforThought.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Inge‏ @IngeFormenti 5 Dec 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        Of course I'm intj, but "nice shirt" or "nice tie" have been known to cross my lips...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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