But this doesn't mean it doesn't seem selfish to others. Many wld call me selfish for going to uni & Dave doing all earning & more childcare
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Replying to @HPluckrose @debeehr
Or consider him selfish if he did go off for a year leaving me to keep the house going on my own. Its a matter of understanding.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
If you said (as my friend did to her husband) I'm doing this whether or not you have pblms w/ it and you get no say, that wd be selfish
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Replying to @debeehr
That is not co-operation. If she wanted to travel alone whilst taking care of their shared responsibilities & he wanted didn't want her to..
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Replying to @HPluckrose @debeehr
...this would indicate the need for a conversation about whether they want the same thing from marriage and what the differences are.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
I would add, and is there a way they can compromise and both live with
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Replying to @debeehr
They could decide to do that, yes. I would rather put the relationship on a more casual footing to enable me to continue doing my own thing.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Okay, with the understanding that doing so may cost you the person you love.
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Replying to @debeehr
Yes, exactly. I can't make him be OK with what I want but neither can I accept limitations on where I can go & what I can do.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @debeehr
But this is why I married him when I assumed I never would get married. Because he is absolutely fine with me doing my own thing.
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He appreciates that too. And I have met many other people who have relationships like this. They do their own thing & rout for each other.
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