Okay, last word on this now tat I think I figured out a little better what I was trying to get at :
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Replying to @debeehr @HPluckrose
There's each of you having your own thing in marriage and I actually think that's good and necessary
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Replying to @debeehr @HPluckrose
Then theres selfishly insistg on ur own way no matter what & refusg 2 care abt/respect yr partners needs & wishes b/c that wd cramp ur style
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Replying to @debeehr
We might just disagree on what is selfish and what ppl have a right to expect from each other in marriage & that needs to be sorted out b4.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Eh, selfishness isn't a specific unvarying list of actions, it's an attitude that says "my needs are more important and yours don't count."
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Replying to @debeehr @HPluckrose
Furthermore I'm skeptical you can always sort out everything before marriage because people change over the course of a lifespan
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Replying to @debeehr @HPluckrose
Wishes and priorities in your forties & fifties aren't necessarily the same as they were in your twenties and thirties
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Replying to @debeehr
But if someone changes what they want from marriage in that time, they can't necessarily expect the other to be fine with that.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @debeehr
What is it you think I am arguing for that you don't agree with?
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Basically it sounded to me like you were saying a good marriage never ever requires compromise between the two partners and no one ...
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Very many people want marriages based on compromise and mutually supportive roles and this suits them perfectly.
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