But IMO, that would be a pretty lousy thing to do :(
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Replying to @debeehr
Yes, that raises another variable. When I had a stroke, Dave looked into giving up work & caring for me. When we thought he had, I did same.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Okay, last word on this now tat I think I figured out a little better what I was trying to get at :
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Replying to @debeehr @HPluckrose
There's each of you having your own thing in marriage and I actually think that's good and necessary
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Replying to @debeehr @HPluckrose
Then theres selfishly insistg on ur own way no matter what & refusg 2 care abt/respect yr partners needs & wishes b/c that wd cramp ur style
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Replying to @debeehr
We might just disagree on what is selfish and what ppl have a right to expect from each other in marriage & that needs to be sorted out b4.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Eh, selfishness isn't a specific unvarying list of actions, it's an attitude that says "my needs are more important and yours don't count."
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Replying to @debeehr
Yes, exactly. Its not part of the co-operation & mutual empowerment I am advocating.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @debeehr
But this doesn't mean it doesn't seem selfish to others. Many wld call me selfish for going to uni & Dave doing all earning & more childcare
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Replying to @HPluckrose
See, that's not selfish b/c (I assume !) you *agreed on it together.* in that respect it's a joint enterprise between you two.
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This is what I mean by co-operation.
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