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HPluckrose's profile
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
@HPluckrose

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Helen Pluckrose

@HPluckrose

Editor @AreoMagazine Secular, liberal humanist. Mother. Doglover. Writing book about epistemology & ethics on the academic left Helen.pluckrose@areomagazine.com

London.
areomagazine.com/author/hpluckr…
Joined August 2011

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    1. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      It might seem odd for someone who has been happily married for 15 years to be sceptical of a lot of pro-marriage rhetoric.

      2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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    2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      But I am because so much of it is framed in terms of commitment & sacrifice & compromise & partnership - two becoming as one.

      1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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    3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      I find the idea of two becoming one & there being duties involved in this repellent. I like two to remain two & work stuff out between them.

      2 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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    4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      I think life-long commitment & sacrificing one's own personal fulfillment for someone else is appropriate for parent to child relationships.

      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
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    5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      Not so much for adult to adult ones. It does often work out this way but I don't think it is a healthy foundation for a relationship.

      2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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    6. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      I like the idea of co-operation & mutual support between individuals who've chosen to live their lives together.

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
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      Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

      This is conceptually different to compromise and mutually supportive *roles* which is often how I hear pro-marriage arguments framed.

      5:55 AM - 3 Sep 2017
      • 5 Likes
      • Leeanne Plechowicz DamonnomaD lunabravette Mr. Ray Makoghouled the Spooky
      4 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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        2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

          Eg, if Dave wanted to give up his job & train to do something he'd find more fulfilling in another country for a year...

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

          ...I'd try to find a way to make that doable, financially, practically etc And he would do the same if I wanted to do something like that.

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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        4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

          Well, he did. He encouraged me to go back to university and offered to be sole bread-winner & do more child-care so I had time to study.

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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        5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 3 Sep 2017

          And this seems to be absent from a lot of pro-marriage rhetoric which focuses on compromise & responsibilities & mutually supportive roles.

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
          Show this thread
        6. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2.  🇨🇦 K@‏ @KatMullaly 3 Sep 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          30 yrs together and counting, here. (17 cohab +8 mo break @10 +counselling +13 married) Childless by choice. And increasingly happier.

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        3.  🇨🇦 K@‏ @KatMullaly 3 Sep 2017
          Replying to @KatMullaly @HPluckrose @10

          I was already bored by new sexual liaisons by my mid-twenties. But knew then, already, I function way better as 1/2 of a good 2. Still do.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        4. 1 more reply
        1. subtweetive streak‏ @kellyrued 3 Sep 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          I wouldn't want to be in a LTR with someone who was just doing their own thing, like a roommate, so perhaps I like the roles/duties aspect

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. Kevin‏ @Intrinsic29 3 Sep 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          I agree based on my values but I also think many people may have deeply wired values that make sacrifice and deep commitment more appealing.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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