People are arguing on Facebook about whether it's sexist for a man to ask his girlfriend's father's permission to marry her.
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Someone is outraged that anyone would even question this & is calling it leftist feminist crap & saying it's unnecessary offence-seeking.
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Insisting that it's no-one else's business. Tried pointing out that in this case it's not her business either, yet she still has an opinion.
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I get frustrated when people get outraged by people discussing things that they feel is none of their business.
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Especially when they themselves are discussing it and making an opposing argument.
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I feel like other people's marriages are none of my business whilst ideas around marriage itself are something everyone can discuss.
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And this applies more widely. Sometimes what individuals do is of concern to everyone but more often it is an associated wider idea that is.
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In the same way, I seldom like to discuss other ppl involved in the things I talk about but general sets of ideas flying about.
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It gets messy when you focus on individuals. Because they are complex & ppl read them differently depending on other things & likeability.
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I've felt the pull to read people I find likeable more charitably than people I find dislikeable & I think this hard to avoid.
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Also, it gets personal more widely than the person being discussed coz ppl feel loyalty & take criticism of some1 they like more personally.
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'I dislike the idea that...' is easier to take than 'I dislike what this person you like said or did' or 'I dislike him/her.'
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End of conversation
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Not if it is just a ritual to include everyone, no. A tradition like giving the bride away which doesn't actually mean she belongs to anyone
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My wife carried me across the threshold of our home when we got married.
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Smashed my head into the door.
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Then turned me around and smashed the other side of my head into the door.
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This is fact.
@VikkiSin knows. -
That's true... I only asked you!
End of conversation
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This seems obvious: find out from the girlfriend what she thinks. If she thinks it's a nice form of respect for her dad, do it.
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And, if you don't know which your girlfriend prefers, then maybe you don't know her well enough to marry her.
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