Seems clear to me that if it's a ritual they both like, no. If done w/out 1st asking her & father actually has the power to decide that, yes
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Someone is outraged that anyone would even question this & is calling it leftist feminist crap & saying it's unnecessary offence-seeking.
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Insisting that it's no-one else's business. Tried pointing out that in this case it's not her business either, yet she still has an opinion.
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I get frustrated when people get outraged by people discussing things that they feel is none of their business.
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Especially when they themselves are discussing it and making an opposing argument.
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I feel like other people's marriages are none of my business whilst ideas around marriage itself are something everyone can discuss.
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And this applies more widely. Sometimes what individuals do is of concern to everyone but more often it is an associated wider idea that is.
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In the same way, I seldom like to discuss other ppl involved in the things I talk about but general sets of ideas flying about.
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It gets messy when you focus on individuals. Because they are complex & ppl read them differently depending on other things & likeability.
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I've felt the pull to read people I find likeable more charitably than people I find dislikeable & I think this hard to avoid.
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Also, it gets personal more widely than the person being discussed coz ppl feel loyalty & take criticism of some1 they like more personally.
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'I dislike the idea that...' is easier to take than 'I dislike what this person you like said or did' or 'I dislike him/her.'
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Oh ffs, really?
Most father/daughter relationships are very close. Askin for acceptance from the man who would die for her is a big thing.. -
This is why I think it's fine if it is a ritual to include him that the couple likes. Only a problem if its actually needed.
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It IS more a ritual than anything. Gaining genuine acceptance from the dad who's very close to his daughter is no small feat mind. Big step
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Well, your daughter will know you'd feel that way & can tell her boyfriend and if they want to please you, they can do it.
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Seems to me a woman who doesn't respect tradition and ceremony isn't worth marrying. Just someone to date until someone better comes along.
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If they don't respect tradition and ceremony why would they want to get married in the first place?
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Exactly! Our traditions and rituals bind us together as a community. Gender roles have evolved into a great system. Why mess with it?
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People whom they don't suit don't stick to them. People whom they do do. There's no big mystery here.
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