I think cheating is wrong because of the cheating - the dishonesty. You agree rules & then break them, thereby misleading your partner...
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Other times, they want their partner to be faithful but don't want to be so themselves. These are different motivations but both dishonest.
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I don't think there is any such thing as sexual morality. It's the same morality as everything else - honesty, consideration, loyalty.
End of conversation
New conversation -
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I think this probably the main problem: fear of talking about own needs & relationship changes over time
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