Talking about politeness - I try to be polite, but I can be very blunt, which shocks people.
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Well, the blunt personality trait is very common in physics. Some people are just oblivious, but it can be noxious.
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I knew one professor who came off as incredibly rude in convo - but I realised he was trying to be friendly and he was just wired that way.
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But I've met others who come off as pig-headed and arrogant. Not a nice trait. They just don't care about anyone else.
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I think you can tell fairly easily if open to both possibilities.
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I dunno. I think a lot of people confuse that type of personality with maliciousness. e.g. see how people react to Dawkins.
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Yes, you have to be open to the possibility that people can lack social nuance but be kind, honest & compassionate.
End of conversation
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