I don't actually care that much about 'the family' as an institution and am sceptical of complaints that feminists are destroying it.
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But if they think it's one of those, they often tend to deride the idea that the other has any power.
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Women are either not entering STEM because cultural norms tell them its not for them or not being SAHMs coz feminists say that's bad.
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Of course, you can argue for one of these consistently if you believe that patriarchy or feminism dominates society & other has no influence
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But in reality, people who believe society shld be patriarchal & people who are feminists are a minority & most of us are neither.
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The vast majority of us support gender equality & have a range of views on how this plays out & are exposed to an even wider range.
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I've been accused of being a naive individualist with idealistic perceptions of liberty and there's definitely some truth in that.
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But although there are certainly social & practical constraints on the extent to which ppl feel able to exercise individuality & liberty...
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...I feel strongly that these are essential values to increase & encourage. This is at the root of what I mean when I call myself a liberal.
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Those who are socially conservative can coherently be critical of this & argue community & responsibility are conflicting positive values
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I'm not sure they need to be, tbh, and think communities in which people are individuals free to make their own choices work best.
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But this is a reasonable discussion which can be had with good arguments on both sides.
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However, when people who claim themselves to be concerned with women's wellbeing, fulfilment & empowerment devalue individuality & autonomy
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& present women as conduits for dominant cultural discourses which need to be changed to match a set of ideologically-based values, I demur
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Rather than suppressing certain ideas so women aren't influenced by them & made unhappy, I'd support promoting resilience & individuality.
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And the general idea that we can see & hear a wide range of values and make choices. Literal constraints on this must be illegal.
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If people feel psychologically constrained by certain cultural ideas, the answer is strengthening the psychology, not restricting the ideas
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In a nutshell, my problem is with 'women are made to feel' arguments followed by some prescription for protecting women from said feelings.
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Whereas men largely assumed to be able to cope with all sorts of ideas & expectations & have the psychological strength to make own choice
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It is likely that there's some truth in the claim that women need social approval more & depend on social support more but...
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...it is regressive in the true sense to underestimate & undermine women's individuality & autonomy in addressing it.
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