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HPluckrose's profile
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
@HPluckrose

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Helen Pluckrose

@HPluckrose

Editor @AreoMagazine Secular, liberal humanist. Mother. Doglover. Writing book about epistemology & ethics on the academic left Helen.pluckrose@areomagazine.com

London.
areomagazine.com/author/hpluckr…
Joined August 2011

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    Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017

    OK, OK, I suppose what Im asking is 'Is it OK for your partner to have a 'soul-mate' of same sex as you who isn't you?'

    6:33 AM - 10 May 2017
    • 1 Like
    • StephenParry
    15 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      1. New conversation
      2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        Is this something a couple needs to talk abt along with whether the relationship is going to be open sexually & have agreed rules?

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        And can you actually do that? You could commit to not connecting various body-parts with other ppl but not connecting emotionally?

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        i think it's not healthy to agree to constraints on emotional connection to other human beings

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer

        And would the relationship survive & flourish? If your partner's soul-mate was someone else and not you?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        i don't see why it wouldn't?

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer

        I think it might undermine the sense of partnership.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        how so? what would be taken away? only the "specialness" or more?

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer

        Well, what makes a romantic partnership a partnership? If not a commitment to put each other first emotionally? Primary emotional connection

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      10. 2 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. Ghost Monster Palmer‏ @gm_palmer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        That would appear to cross a boundary.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Anais Henrix‏ @anais_henrix 10 May 2017
        Replying to @gm_palmer @HPluckrose

        Surely these are things that only individual couples can establish for themselves.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @anais_henrix @gm_palmer

        I am asking individuals what they think.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Anais Henrix‏ @anais_henrix 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @gm_palmer

        Forgive me. My instinctive is that my partner's friendships can be as close as she like irrespective of sex but keep no secrets from me.

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. Anais Henrix‏ @anais_henrix 10 May 2017
        Replying to @anais_henrix @HPluckrose @gm_palmer

        ...and so "it depends " that it because too difficult to apply those ideas anywhere else.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @anais_henrix @gm_palmer

        Oh yes. I'll just get a range of views on the topic to help me work out what I think about it.

        3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. Anais Henrix‏ @anais_henrix 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose @gm_palmer

        I'm just somewhat uneasy at the process (tho' I don't know a better one), I suspect you end up where you would have anyway.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @anais_henrix @gm_palmer

        The process of asking other people what they think about things?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      10. 6 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        yes

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer

        Ooh! A straightforward answer. Interesting. There doesn't need to a unique emotional commitment?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        i don't require it and my partners don't require it however, we do request openness about what's happening with other people

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer @HPluckrose

        openness as in: talk about it, be transparent about your feelings, your wishes etc. and occasionally negotiate where necessary

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer @HPluckrose

        negotiation may involve agreements about how much to allow to change about the way things are right now

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
        Replying to @fronxer

        I agree with all of this in principle but I wonder if it works in practice.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. MJ fan account 1984‏ @fronxer 10 May 2017
        Replying to @HPluckrose

        highly depends on the people involved

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. End of conversation

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