Is this something a couple needs to talk abt along with whether the relationship is going to be open sexually & have agreed rules?
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And can you actually do that? You could commit to not connecting various body-parts with other ppl but not connecting emotionally?
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i think it's not healthy to agree to constraints on emotional connection to other human beings
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And would the relationship survive & flourish? If your partner's soul-mate was someone else and not you?
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i don't see why it wouldn't?
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I think it might undermine the sense of partnership.
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how so? what would be taken away? only the "specialness" or more?
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Well, what makes a romantic partnership a partnership? If not a commitment to put each other first emotionally? Primary emotional connection
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That would appear to cross a boundary.
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Surely these are things that only individual couples can establish for themselves.
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I am asking individuals what they think.
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Forgive me. My instinctive is that my partner's friendships can be as close as she like irrespective of sex but keep no secrets from me.
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...and so "it depends " that it because too difficult to apply those ideas anywhere else.
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Oh yes. I'll just get a range of views on the topic to help me work out what I think about it.
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I'm just somewhat uneasy at the process (tho' I don't know a better one), I suspect you end up where you would have anyway.
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The process of asking other people what they think about things?
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Ooh! A straightforward answer. Interesting. There doesn't need to a unique emotional commitment?
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i don't require it and my partners don't require it however, we do request openness about what's happening with other people
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openness as in: talk about it, be transparent about your feelings, your wishes etc. and occasionally negotiate where necessary
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negotiation may involve agreements about how much to allow to change about the way things are right now
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I agree with all of this in principle but I wonder if it works in practice.
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highly depends on the people involved
End of conversation
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