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HPluckrose's profile
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
Helen Pluckrose
@HPluckrose

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Helen Pluckrose

@HPluckrose

Editor @AreoMagazine Secular, liberal humanist. Mother. Doglover. Writing book about epistemology & ethics on the academic left Helen.pluckrose@areomagazine.com

London.
areomagazine.com/author/hpluckr…
Joined August 2011

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    1. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017

      What do we think of 'emotional infidelity?' I am conflicted.

      10 replies 1 retweet 1 like
    2. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      On the one hand, I think we do have a right to expect our partners to rely most on us emotionally, share most, be emotionally closest to us.

      1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
    3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      On the other hand, you can't get every emotional need fulfilled by one person & expecting this leads to disatisfaction in relationships

      2 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
    4. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      Also, the 'infidelity' aspect is highly subjective and always seems to come down to the potential for sexual infidelity, ultimately.

      4 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
    5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      I've always got most of my in-depth emotional support from female friends & one male friend who was gay. No male partner has ever objected.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    6. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      But if I were to have the same kind of close sharing friendship with a heterosexual man, I think this would be much more likely.

      4 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      Once a boyfriend said,'I'm jealous coz your minds work the same way' abt the male friend. On revealing that he was gay, jealousy gone.

      2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
    8. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
      Replying to @HPluckrose

      It's good to be able to vent though sometimes my wife can feel hurt if I don't feel compelled to talk to her first.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
      Replying to @SakuyaRed0

      I would certainly feel betrayed if my husband confided in a woman other than me and not me.

      5:52 AM - 10 May 2017
      4 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          But is it just because he has another confidant who just so happeneds to be a woman or just another confidant in general?

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
          Replying to @SakuyaRed0

          A woman.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          I mean if he is getting anything out of it beyond support from a trusted friend I don't see the issue myself.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
          Replying to @SakuyaRed0

          I would feel a large part of the relationship had died. He turned somewhere else for that need.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        6. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          I understand what you mean but at the same time I feel that this is more a problem on your end than those around you.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        7. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
          Replying to @SakuyaRed0

          You do? Youd be fine with your partner getting her emotional support from another man and not coming to you with it?

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        8. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          I'm not saying you're wrong it's just not how I deal with things

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        9. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
          Replying to @SakuyaRed0

          Im just interested in opinions. Not my personal situation. My husband doesn't do much talking about feelings generally!

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        10. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          Some of my female friends have more experience in certain areas than my wife so they may be more capable of helping me find a solution

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
          Replying to @SakuyaRed0

          This is solutions orientated and quite different to feeling more able to express emotions to a woman who isnt your wife.

          3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          So it wasn't until I talked to an old classmate (that knew the ex too) til I was more able to talk.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. Helen Pluckrose‏ @HPluckrose 10 May 2017
          Replying to @SakuyaRed0

          See, that is fine. Theres a reason. Its not that you generally find someone other than your wife easier to share important feelings with

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        6. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          Well her and I aren't the best communicators to begin with.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        7. End of conversation
        1. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          But many times they see a problem that has a solution

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Sakuya Quinnzelle‏ @SakuyaRed0 10 May 2017
          Replying to @HPluckrose

          I think this may be the disconnect because yes men can be emotional and need support emotionally

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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