what i feel might be missing is theory that situates language in a material context (instead of the other way around à la butler)
No-one should be allowed to abuse trans ppl. No-one shld force anyone else to adopt their view on gender & use its terminology.
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there is a conflict between those two wishes, though, isn't there?
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I don't think so. A Christian/Muslim who believes God made everyone's genitalia the gender they shld be is not abused by others saying no.
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again i wonder whether the implied symmetry is valid, or whether positions have to be assessed concretely in a given social context.
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because there is a mainstream view of gender that is being forced onto everybody even on the level of linguistic conventions
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so the status quo already abuses trans people, as per our previous definitions
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Trans people are not abused by other people having binary understandings of gender. Mustn't be forced to share them.
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i think i disagree with that.

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I thought you might & here we will differ fundamentally. One theory of gender must not be forced on everyone even if it's right.
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