Much "We don't want to lose you but we think you ought to go' to accounts of women's attitudes to the crusades. Hard to know how accurate
Women saying 'I don't want you to die & we also need you here working the land so we don't' would not have been recorded.
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Men sent other men who did not go on the crusades wool & distaff to indicate they were only fit for women's work.Equivalent to white feather
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