Because this is largely reported by men writing heroic narratives of the crusades. Only the right attitudes got reported.
Much "We don't want to lose you but we think you ought to go' to accounts of women's attitudes to the crusades. Hard to know how accurate
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They want to show women supported men going off to crusades even tho their absence made their survival & that of their children less certain
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Women saying 'I don't want you to die & we also need you here working the land so we don't' would not have been recorded.
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Men sent other men who did not go on the crusades wool & distaff to indicate they were only fit for women's work.Equivalent to white feather
End of conversation
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