@HPluckrose let me try out this analogy on you: let's say you spent your whole life creating a business
James' book looks at this. We have two selves - the experiencing self & the remembering self. We falsely apply latter to death.
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The feeling of it having all been for nothing when the business crashes exists because the person still does & remembers.
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Death can't be like this. We cannot experience the loss. We anticipate the regret and sense of loss but it won't happen.
End of conversation
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