My husband has always had the policy of telling me I look lovely in everything. To a certain extent, this disparity is driven, I suspect, by women being more hurt by comments on their clothing & men being more likely not to care that much. However...
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...if we are looking at ways in which social norms control men or women with a view to arguing that it is oppressive of one sex, I suspect it would be hard to make an evidence-based case that men oppress women this way rather than the other way round.
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I take the feminist complaint not to be about men and women in a context in which comments on clothing might be appropriate (e.g., dating, married, parent and child, best friends), but about contexts in which comments are less appropriate (e.g., coworker, stranger).
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My (feminist) complaint is that too often discussion about a woman’s dress or image supplants actual discussion about their work or platform, and that happens less frequently than with men. See: female politicians.
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I do see this but I also think news outlets are marketing to an audience and it probably isn't men who want to know where the high-powered woman had her hair done or who designed her dress.
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I would say that *when* men comment about a woman's style, it's often not just aesthetic or even a judgment about social conformity/respectability, but also highly sexualizing. In a bad way. Queer Eye-ing being the exception but that can also be power-driven and degrading.
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I think that is certainly the assumption but I'm not sure it is warranted very often.
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well ….and... if we want to deep dive into psychological intricate mind of most woman they don't really want the truth. I have never taken great interest in what my husband wears but I have run into a lot of woman that get hyper involved in what their entire family wears.
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also if each sex was looking to hear the truth especially what the other thinks about what one wears. I feel men are more truthful and less superficial however I may be wrong
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The most dress policing in my experience is done by women on women. Also the most policing in terms of looks in general, like hair and makeup.
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I've never, or rarely, been policed, Montrealers do tend to dress (much) better on average than ANY OTHER CITY IN NORTH AMERICA, but I have wondered what British women have been thinking when they've looked me over. I've caught myself doing that to others, too.
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"Lotak, you need a new shirt" "Mrs Lotak, I do not need a new shirt. I have plenty" "But they are so old and tatty" (they aren't) "They still fit and aren't torn" (usually) "You need new shirts" "I don't need new shirts" some days later "I bought you new shirts. NOW WEAR THEM".
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This has certainly been my experience. I suspect that we remember more clearly those events which we perceive to be nasty. Women may perceive comments that men make about their own dress to be more unpleasant than those they make about men’s, and therefore mainly remember those.
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that's probably true. my gf and I both crap on each other's clothes (she gets more offended about it than I do though, I actually welcome the criticism because I think my clothing style is bad)
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I don’t wear clothes to stop people gossiping. Foolproof solution
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I'd have assumed people gossip more about those who don't wear clothes.
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Nah see thing is it’s so shocking and unexpected all the women stand in awe of my spectacular manhood and the chaps are baffled into silence and forget
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Let me narrate this incident at my workplace. We had dresscode of full sleeves formal shirts for men and no sleeveless for women. This day a male friend from my office group had worn half sleeves shirt to work... A female friend thought it was inappropriate and commented on it.
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Twist? She used to regularly wear sleeveless. Women too comment on men clothing. Though not to face but to others.
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It would be 'controlling' if a man gave that sort of fashion advice, and the woman complied.
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