I believe in individual freedom, not giving some people the freedom to deny freedom to other people. That includes limiting the rights people have over their children's bodies and beliefs.
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Our duty of care & discipline to our children should not include permanently modifying their bodies to mark their entry into our religion, political party or football team. The fact that the last two are clearly unethical to almost everyone should show the problem with the first.
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Even if we can show that a very high incidence of children accept the same religion, political party and football team as their parents and are glad of the modification as adults, the fact is that there are always some who don't and aren't & they should have individual freedom.
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I am actually a bit too liberal and individualist for my daughter who is a child who likes routines, rules & boundaries, but I do want her to be the one to make her own decisions as far as possible. So she's been Christian & Hindu & considered Judaism. Now non-religious.
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Also, if she wants to shave all her hair off, she can live with how long it will take for that to grow out & if she wants to pierce her ears, she can decide whether the pain is worth it & protect from infection. (She doesn't want to do either of those)
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Replying to @HPluckrose
as a counterpoint (and not a criticism in any way) I chose to be "old-fashioned mum" and made sure my daughter would re-think her impulses. She is now quite happy that I did not support or encourage her getting tattoos. :)
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Replying to @99freemind
You probably know your daughter. I have always been intensely individualistic & resented my parents making decisions about my body & it damaged our relationship. At 16, they essentially let me do my own thing & our relationship improved greatly tho i still left home at 1st opp.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
And there again it depends on the unique people/circumstances involved. There are parents so desperate to feel they have a 'good relationship' that they don't enforce any rules which, in the end, ruins the relationship anyway. Parenting is a huge challenge!
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Replying to @99freemind
I think it can. You have to know who your child is & what they actually need. If they need boundaries but rage that they don't, you'll need to overrule that. Fortunately, my father knew I'd inherited his intense privateness & almost pathological independence & gave me my head.
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Replying to @HPluckrose @99freemind
They only made rules about how I treated the house and them which I could absolutely respect because that affected them. I could not accept them making rules for me which only affected me & even when they didn't, I still needed to make my own living & have my own place.
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They would have paid for me to go to university but I couldn't be beholden to them any longer so I didn't go. Earned minimum wage as a care assistant for many years but was happy coz independent. I don't think this is common tho & I have to accept it is not who my daughter is.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
I'm sure you are a wonderful mother. Thoughtful, funny, caring and you pay attention to who she is.
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