I am occasionally told I am intimidating but this has never been that I am seen as a physical threat. Usually it means I am disagreeing with something too fast, too scathingly and with the use of too many words. (I can get a bit passionate.)
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I could tell others that they are responsible for their perception of me in this way or I could consider whether I am communicating as effectively as I could be. Sometimes I realise I am doing this & step back from it in process with something like this:pic.twitter.com/4kpOgBmIJr
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Obv, it's not always my fault and some people will have a problem with me simply for disagreeing with them. I think there's nearly always a mixture of intention and impact to consider and a person on one side of this could be being much more reasonable than the one on the other
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I'm almost certainly reading far too much into the first speaker's comment, btw, which could have been a throwaway one or have a specific context & not be the result of an indepth consideration of the correct ethical position to take on the intention vs impact debate.
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People make assumptions about others without evidence or reason. I get asked for directions and strangers confess odd things to me nearly every day: so to strangers, I do not appear physically intimidating. But I can be intimidating if I REALLY try with people who know me well.
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I find you quite vicariously scary, tbh, and am very glad you're on my side.
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HAHA I have to laugh a bit because I am approachable. I literally just had a random 60ish yr old stranger ask me about Xmas treats then segue seamlessly to telling me about an infection in her vagina and whether I thought she should see a doctor whilst I was buying Xmas junk food
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I'm 6'4" and fairly well built. But I don't do anything to try to intimidate people, in any way. I know women who trust me more than anyone else not a part of their family, but I've also felt like some others are very careful around me... so it's entirely up to them. Not me.
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You might feel that you already take care not to do intimidating things. Eg you probably wouldn't run up behind an unknown woman walking alone on a dark street at night. Therefore if anyone finds you intimidating for being big and male, they'll just have to deal with it.
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Sorta. In public I have no problem being intimidating, for my own safety. But if I find myself walking behind a woman I might take an alternate route. My worst nightmare is someone with PTSD flipping out on me because I happen to be walking the same route as them.
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Maybe society is, but the idea that anyone might find *me* intimidating is - and should be! - ludicrous. Anyway, I've never been intimidated by anyone, even if they WERE physically interfering with me.
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It sounds like a variant of the "I'm just going to swing my arms, and if they get hit, it's their fault." line of reasoning. There are things I can do to reduce how intimidating I am, and there are things I can do to enhance it, and I am responsible for being self-aware.
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Well, it sounds like you didn't read the original tweet, which specifically precludes any kind of physical interference.
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Hence "variant of the line of reasoning."
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It's not a "variant line of reasoning" if I've specifically included it to obviate tweets like yours. Like, why did I bother predicting that response and trashing it if you're going to do it anyway?
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Person 1 does thing which has reasonably predictable effect on others. Person 2 experiences reasonably predictable effect. Person 1 claims no responsibility for reasonably predictable effect. Variant line of the same reasoning.
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A. Apart from Trump, who is your least favourite president? B. Trump. A. What? B. It's a variant line of reasoning.
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Making an arbitrary distinction of one type of cause/effect doesn't absolve responsibility for other types of cause/effect.
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Specifically discounting X means X is specifically discounted.
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Some people are intimidated over immutable characteristics of certain men and fear based perceptions are not always rational. Assuming of course that there is no actual intent, intention not bring easily readable by the intimidated party contributes to miscommunication.
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