Infidelity is a legitimate complaint because it requires having made an agreement to be exclusive and then breaking it. This is disloyalty and a betrayal of trust. Someone who does not want to be in an exclusive relationship should not pretend they do but be honest. However...https://twitter.com/DrDavidLey/status/1052746552236621825 …
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I have always appreciated that my husband always accepted my need to spend much of my time inside my own head. Of course, I am usually thinking about postmodernism, critical theory, feminism & politics; thoughts he'd really rather I didn't share with him anyway. XD
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But other friends, creative types, have whole fantasy worlds they have created which are just for them. We all have the right to an internal world, whether intellectual, artistic, erotic or whatever. This doesn't end when we have relationships.
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It's like this nonsense with 'microcheating' where you're not allowed to be friends with your ex or DM someone of the opposite sex to talk about shared interests. (Don't know how this works for same sex couples but I suspect it's mostly a hetero thing). It feels so regressive.
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It feels like trust - emotional trust that your relationship is sound & your partner is with you because they love you and want to spend their life with you - is completely absent in people who think like this.
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That's what will destroy your relationship, not your partner masturbating, watching porn, having friends of both sexes or having thoughts and feelings and interests they don't share with you.
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End of conversation
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What kind of relationship is that?
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