Infidelity is a legitimate complaint because it requires having made an agreement to be exclusive and then breaking it. This is disloyalty and a betrayal of trust. Someone who does not want to be in an exclusive relationship should not pretend they do but be honest. However...https://twitter.com/DrDavidLey/status/1052746552236621825 …
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I hate the idea that to be in a relationship is to be owned body and 'soul' by someone else and never again having the right to private thoughts, feelings or activities. I'm not talking about deception, such as cheating which breaks an agreement many couples want. Outside that.
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I have always appreciated that my husband always accepted my need to spend much of my time inside my own head. Of course, I am usually thinking about postmodernism, critical theory, feminism & politics; thoughts he'd really rather I didn't share with him anyway. XD
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But other friends, creative types, have whole fantasy worlds they have created which are just for them. We all have the right to an internal world, whether intellectual, artistic, erotic or whatever. This doesn't end when we have relationships.
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It's like this nonsense with 'microcheating' where you're not allowed to be friends with your ex or DM someone of the opposite sex to talk about shared interests. (Don't know how this works for same sex couples but I suspect it's mostly a hetero thing). It feels so regressive.
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It feels like trust - emotional trust that your relationship is sound & your partner is with you because they love you and want to spend their life with you - is completely absent in people who think like this.
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That's what will destroy your relationship, not your partner masturbating, watching porn, having friends of both sexes or having thoughts and feelings and interests they don't share with you.
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End of conversation
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What if your partner is secretly working as a phone sex operator or doing Skype sessions for money? Does that rise to a different level?
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Did you miss the part where she mentioned established boundaries in a relationship? If it violated boundaries set, it is unethical.
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Most people don’t sit down and say, “BTW, you can’t do any sex work on the side.” Things like that are usually implicit.
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The first tweet specifically states "agreement to be exclusive." Clearly sex work would fall under that unless discussed.
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Most people don’t explicitly state what exclusivity entails. Anyway, I’m not interested in your opinion so buzz off.
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