I think a lot of it comes from men not saying they worry about getting attacked. It's not damaging to femininity for a woman to say she feels afraid when she encounters a strange man on a dark street but very damaging to masculinity for a man to say so. https://twitter.com/BasedTomas/status/1050465586092957696 …
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I’m not sure if its expecting too much to think people should stop feeling vulnerable in sitatuions where they are not actually vulnerable. Take a self-defense course. Get counseling. If I cower every time I get a text message, that’s *my* issue and paranoia. Not the world’s.
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I'm not saying to make it the worlds problem. I'm saying to recognise that both sexes can fear becoming the victim of crime.
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Both sexes can be scared of anything they want to be scared of. This is true.
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OK, then. I'll give up here.
End of conversation
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As a Karate instructor, I eventually decided that teaching "self defence" was a bad idea. Why? Because if you have to physically engage with someone, or even avoid them, the chances are you have already lost. As one Kung Fu instructor put it,
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"The sparrow does not land where the tiger prowls."
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Good Self Defense IS knowing where the tiger prowls, Avoiding their territory, Prepare for potential, & OODA if we paths cross.
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Yes. But the problem I have with self defence classes is that, with the best will in the world, you can't teach someone how to fight in 10 weeks. And most people are not interested in the three year minimum it would take to get even halfway competent. Moreover, that assumes
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fighting fair which by defn never happens outside a sports ring. Buying and training how to use a firearem is by far the better option if local laws permit. But really you never want to be there either. So other strategies and tactics such as
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Avoiding certain areas at certain times, learning to read people and situations, taking home protection measures, etc, all come into play in a sensible way i.e. if you have an unsafe occupation and live in unsafe territory that is one thing
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If you are in a safe occupation in the same district, that is something else. i.e pick a level of defcon and apply protective measures appropriately. As for the male-female thing, the hard part is ignoring the people who turn common sense precautions into "victim blaming".
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But I think the principle is that while
#NotAllMen are shits, some are, so stay on the cautious side of not presenting motive, means or opportunity.
End of conversation
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There's a hard side that says don't encourage people to use their fears as a bludgeon or a badge of honor, and a soft side that says yeah, but still show some compassion & support to the fearful, especially when it is based in reality. They're both right.
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