I find women are more likely to start up conversations with me, particularly when I am dog walking. They are more likely to assume that I'd like company even if I have headphones on and to be offended if I say I really enjoy walking alone listening to music. Also in queues.
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Do we find this less intrusive because it is almost certainly not a precursor to anything romantic or sexual but just a wish for conversation and connection? Does it change when the man talking to you is clearly lonely. Elderly men on park benches waiting for someone to talk to?
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There are strong biological reasons for this behavior. Cross culturally women tend to be the ones that choose partners and men the ones that make the offers. The offers should be polite and respectful, but its unreasonable to expect only 'wanted' attention.
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If you don't like the offer reject it. And yet again we should encourage respectful interactions. It won't be perfect and it won't fit every need because we are all different. But we can reach reasonable standards.
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A little bit of the word 'tolerance' (that has been maligned so much) can work wonders. Be polite, if you don't know the other person and you are making an offer read her body language, if you are making her uncomfortable apologize and leave.
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If you are on the receiving end. Don't start by assuming the worst, if you don't like the offer use minimum necessary force and politely say that you are not interested. If they don't get it, then its time to become indignant and angry.
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The problem is the assumption that all unwanted attention is necessarily predatory.
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Insufficient data at this time. But I do think that (generalising mightily) men seem to feel entitled to encroach in a variety of ways on a woman’s personal time and space in ways they wouldn’t dream of doing with another man (and women wouldn’t dream of doing with a man).
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Wow. Staggered that you have women disputing the suggestion that a) women live on a daily basis with an awareness of their own physical vulnerability that simply never occurs to most men and b) that ‘smile love’ is a thing. I have a mostly cheerful resting face and still get it.
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a) Not all women do though. And I think the majority of those that do have been imbued with a sense of fear that is completely unjustified in the West. b) I accept it’s a thing, but simply brush it off & don’t see it as some sort of violation, as I’m encouraged to by feminists.
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I'm not infrequently asked what I'm pissed off about. Even when I'm in a good mood. I have that kind of face I guess. And that DOES piss me off. Is that the same as the inverse? I don't know...
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You have a lovely resting bitch face like me ;)
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It's genetic in my case. I come from a long line of people with no lips. And getting old and jowly isn't helping.
< smiley face
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I've been told to smile by men I don't know, that's true. Women I don't know have told me my hair color washes out my complexion and I should change it.
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I recently had to stop at a gas station to put air in a flat tire. A man walked up to me and reminded me to check the recommended inflation on the inside of the door. I told him I was aware of that, and thanked him. I don't think he was being malicious, or 'mansplaining' etc.
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Yes, I wish you could have stood next to me to hear all about the woman’s life who approached me yesterday while waiting for the elevator.
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Speaking as a babyfaced male, I’ve had older guys do this to me. I don’t doubt that women get it far more, but I think it’s a weird expression of some neural caring module, not strictly male-to-female mood policing.
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too many women, myself included, feel we have more of a right to being "left alone" in public spaces than we probably do considering that these are innately social spaces example: expecting to read peacefully for the entire morning commute when there are 20+ other ppl on a bus
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Why do women make so much of this? So what?! If it bothers them so much, just ignore it and keep walking. I can't imagine being so fragile that I'd let something like this ruin my day.
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