I was just getting to that! I think the difference is that, at root, there are distinct gender differences in conversational styles, subjects of interest, social rules, but not racial ones. Also, most ppl are heterosexual which does impact a mixed atmosphere.https://twitter.com/1ovthafew/status/1005031607575687168 …
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If I were in a mixed sex group, I would be less likely to discuss relationship issues, sex issues, body issues etc. In a mixed racial group of women, I would not. There are also things men talk about & ways they talk about them that change when in women's presence but not by race
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And it isn't just personal things about sex & relationships & bodies which ppl might want to discuss among same sex friends but much more subtle things. I realised how how different conversations can be at a dinner party a few years ago. 4 couples who only knew the host.
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General conversation through dinner and then somehow, the women ended up in the living room & the men on the patio. I was the only female smoker at that time so I drifted out a few times. The contrast between topics and style of conversation was really pronounced.
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The women had discussed their jobs, then their children, then their parents in law, a debate about whether Jewish or Indian mothers-in-law were the most demanding, (sorry, they were Jewish & Indian, so it was allowed), then religion & culture & parenting & education.
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The men, whenever I went out there were talking about things ranging from flat-screen TVs (which were new then) to car stereos to games consoles. From my perspective, it was very much like an information exchange - a series of reviews which were civilly disputed.
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I doubt things are usually *that* clear-cut. Men talk about people & relationships too and women talk about things they've bought & things they want to buy and we all talk about politics, culture & ethics but I was struck by the stereotypical conversations in the two spaces.
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And stereotypes are bloody accurate, I'm afraid. We probably would not have spoken at length about dealing with in-law relationships if a man had been there, not because he'd have nothing worthwhile to contribute but because we'd anticipate him getting bored quite quickly.
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Similarly, when I went outside, the men's convo stalled cos they were uncertain whether they should stop talking about whatever it was - the merits of X Box vs Playstation - and say something to include me because they assumed, quite rightly, that I did not care about this.
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Replying to @HPluckrose
Fascinating. I feel as though I was a fly on the wall during these social gatherings. I think your observations are correct. It's weird for me as a gay man sometimes. Occasionally I just want to spend time with men, other times only women. I value the different dynamics.
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