I feel I can relate with both viewpoints. I once had a friend acuse me of racism. I was confused and thus objected, but I also asked what it was that made him say that. Choosing reflection rather than denial may be more about personality than level of racism.
But if he had said 'because you are white' rather than 'because you said X' would you have been able to respect that?
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He would likely no longer be my friend.
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