Some more New Years Resolutions
TY to everyone for reminding me to Quit Smocking
Avoid Toilet Paper when getting on a plane
Find a doctor who tells me exactly what I want to hear
Stop talking to my microwave
Set up a GoFundMe to raise
for the victims of Bowling Green
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Show this threadThanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Don't forget to vote multiple times by going to your car and changing into a new disguise each time!
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Good one



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How about taking the remedial one-handed glass of water drinking course
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You forgot
Learn how umbrellas work -
Thanks I did forget that
I guess I can add:
Take umbrella classes
Get over my fear of the rain
Avoid talking to 7 year olds about Santa.... -
Learn not to look directly at a solar eclipse -
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Please. Please don't forget to let everyone know that Frederick Douglass is doing a great, great job.
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How could I have forgotten Frederick
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I do not know. Though perhaps it's because he's now changed his name more times than one can count as a result of being embarrassed beyond belief from the Great Beyond.
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Thanks...I sent it in 2018 did I get best tweet of that year or do I have to hold on to the title for another 365 days

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You can keep the title for all of 2019 as far as I am concerned.
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Good plans! When you get rid of the VI guy, be sure not to leave a smocking gun. Offer him a better position as a date doctor instead. Happy New Year.
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you forgot you need to get i.d. for cereal.
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That was number two “Renew my ID so I can buy groceries again” - that included cereal
I am finding I forgot a few but I got that one.
People reminded me I forgot “Take umbrella classes”
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“Try to avoid talking to 7 year olds about Santa” -
OMG! The mentioning of umbrella classes is hilarious!
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