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THREAD: My nephew is turning 4 and I ask what he's into lately (at Christmas he was really into horses). Turns out he's moved on to unicorns and mermaids. Fuck! Do they even sell that kind of thing at Target these days?! Unicorns are strictly better than horses though...
I get to work... and everything I find is either absolutely fabulous or a poo emoji with a horn on it... and he's just barely past shitting his pants, so I don't think he's hit the toilet humor phase yet.pic.twitter.com/dQGvnBUgsC
I find a Barbie unicorn... but I just don't know. Will the family freak out? If he's into fabulous unicorns, that's fine with me; but I don't know if he just likes badass horses or he's gone full Lisa Frank on us... plus the family is stuffy midwesterners sooooo...pic.twitter.com/xte5hiCFOK
I find a nice neutral stuffed unicorn buddy... it gives hugs? But it's really uninspiring so I make a mental note to come back to it if I can't find better... then I see it...pic.twitter.com/vVu5n5EmqA
WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS?! Why is Glenda "Fucking" Glitterpoop of course... "try me" it says.pic.twitter.com/HIYOFW8dnH
FUCKING METAL!! This thing covers all the bases... it's a unicorn, it's cute and cuddly, and it's also the favored pet of Chucky. I mentally apologize to the parents because this kid is going to spend the next three weeks squeezing thr back of this thing's neck telling RAWRRR!!!pic.twitter.com/lSXxKhhHHI
I get home to wrap this metal as hell motherfucker knowing that I'm the coolest uncle in Indiana and I flip over the box: Glenda doesn't fuck around yall! LIKES: mushrooms and electrical sockets DISLIKES: world peace No wonder kids are so fucked up these days...pic.twitter.com/ljvSz4vQmy
Oh he has
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