Flight attendant: is there a dad on board? You: *nudges Dad* could have been you. Dad: *looks up from inflight gin and lemon* Eh? You: Phil was far more of a father to me and your drinking is ruining this family. Dad: ... I wish I was that guy clutching his chest and moaning.
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Except I'm the dad, and I don't have kids, and you're the plane.
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