GeniesLoki

(That's not literally true, it's possible to like something and not want to do it again, but it gestures vaguely in the direction of truth)

I think often this kind of threshold arises as a kind of felt sense of inevitability to that disposition. At normal levels you feel like "I would prefer something to be done" but at some point you cross over to "the natural order demands that something be done".

Josef Pieper defines love as a felt sense that it is wonderful that something or someone exists. To me this feels like the universe is made better for the object of love, in a way that feels like it extends beyond my mere personal preferences.

Liking feels like "It is good that this is in my presence". It's not that love *isn't* relational, but it feels like it has transcended that someone. Liking is more about me, and my relation to that which I like, while love is more about that which is loved.

The hatred/loathing line is similar. "It is bad that this is in my presence" vs "It is bad that this exists".

One of the interesting things about experiencing loathing towards someone like this is that there's no feeling that there's a shadow there. There are people that rub you wrong, these are people who you will probably learn something about yourself by understanding that reaction.

And then there are people who your reaction is just a profound sense of "It is bad that this world has you in it" and... it's not that they definitely don't contain any elements of your shadow, but that feeling is probably not pointing towards it.

I think this distinction is quite tricky to navigate. It's tempting and easy to fan the flames of hatred and allow yourself to loathe people who are probably basically fine by focusing on their worst traits.

But as with all emotions, repudiating the emotion in its entirety cuts you off from important and useful ways of being, and sometimes when you encounter someone or something truly loathsome, it's worth acknowledging to yourself that it is genuinely bad that they exist.