do men want sex more than women? the impression i get is that women love to fuck [with a man of sufficient skill and charisma] at about the same rate that men love to fuck [with anything warm that moves] it's just that there's a dearth of men of sufficient skill and charismahttps://twitter.com/limitoftruth/status/1324858438560706562 …
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Replying to @mechanicalmonk1
The distinction that gets drawn in the book "Come As You Are" is one of spontaneous vs responsive desire - the former happens is when you get horny without much external prompt, the latter is highly situational. Spontaneous is more common in men, responsive in women.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @mechanicalmonk1
In general it's not necessarily about "skill and charisma" and can also be about emotional connection, being in a particularly hot situation, or a lot of other contextual things that can help (and also there are many that can hurt).
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @mechanicalmonk1
and attractiveness of the partner
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Replying to @grtnwdrknss @mechanicalmonk1
This may be pretty person privilege speaking, but I feel like this is overrated TBH. Like obviously it doesn't not matter, but I think it's much more of a factor in initial partner selection than it is in horniness levels.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @mechanicalmonk1
well people select partners initially by how horny their face makes them
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Replying to @grtnwdrknss @mechanicalmonk1
No, I don't think that's a good model.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @mechanicalmonk1
that's the case for me. i don't go for unattractive ppl because i know the sex will suck
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Replying to @grtnwdrknss @mechanicalmonk1
I mean ok you do you, but I still don't think it's a good model. Attractiveness is an important factor people use in initial partner selection, but it's not well modelled as "how horny their face makes you" and is only one factor among many.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @mechanicalmonk1
sure but it's a factor worth mentioning among "accelerators"
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Yes, I agree! Like I said, it matters, but I think the degree to which it matters tends to be overstated and there are enough other potential accelerators that its lack can be compensated for fairly straightforwardly.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @mechanicalmonk1
idk sounds good in theory but in practice i had amazing sex with ppl i didn't find attractive and i just couldn't bring myself to do it again, just not horny enough to clarify, attractive to me doesn't always correspond to conventional attractiveness and is more narrow
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Replying to @grtnwdrknss @mechanicalmonk1
If you're talking about whether you personally are attracted to them rather than attractiveness in some general sense this seems mostly circular? Aren't you basically just defining "am attracted to" as "would like to have sex with"?
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