You know the phenomenon of male characters who you absolutely should not identify because they're awful people who nevertheless a lot of men identify with? e.g. James Bond, Rick (of Rick and Morty), Rorschach.
I think I figured out why this is and oh no. 
-
Show this thread
-
These characters are expressing unhealthily unrestrained versions of common male traits which we have collectively largely decided are just Intrinsically Bad but that are actually reasonable and positive things when appropriately tempered and restrained.
1 reply 0 retweets 55 likesShow this thread -
GeniesLoki Retweeted GeniesLoki
e.g. a certain degree of harshness is actually pretty great if well handled. See e.g. https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1323888911467352070 … for discussions of positive cruelty. Or, some arrogance is Good Actually - it encourages you to excel and to try things outside your reach and thereby learn from them.
GeniesLoki added,
GeniesLoki @GeniesLokiIn order: "Being cruel to people you love" sounds bad, right? It's not, it's good. Examples: * Teasing * Telling someone harsh truths * Not letting someone take the easy route * Domming someone Cruelty lets you knock someone out of a comfortable and easy equilibrium solution.Show this thread1 reply 0 retweets 32 likesShow this thread -
All of these traits are things which you can take to excess and the characters I have in mind absolutely do. If you're indiscriminately and unrestrainedly harsh, you're just an asshole. If you take arrogance too far, you're a *narcissistic* asshole.
1 reply 0 retweets 26 likesShow this thread -
But the problem is that because we decided that these things are bad, you don't really have much of an option for expressing them in their healthy form. The best you can really manage is "morally permissible in small doses", or a kind of problematic fave.
1 reply 1 retweet 37 likesShow this thread -
If, on the other hand, you're a massive jerk who doesn't give a fuck about what anybody thinks, you have the option to express these traits as much as you like because you're *already* an asshole.
2 replies 0 retweets 27 likesShow this thread -
And if you're a man who has some or all of these traits - even if it's entirely reasonable doses - and are looking for representation... these terrible characters are kinda the only place you have to look, because the healthier versions are not represented on screen anywhere.
3 replies 0 retweets 36 likesShow this thread -
Replying to @GeniesLoki
To clarify, you're not just talking about being very confident in your abilities, you're talking about overestimating your abilities and having that be a good thing?
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @Kirsten3531
Hmm. A little? Overestimating your abilities isn't ideal, but overestimating your chances of success can be a good thing. I was thinking more of the sort of arrogance you get with "I'm great and I know it" which is a little independent of how accurate the "I'm great" part is.
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like -
-
-
Replying to @GeniesLoki @Kirsten3531
And I guess although I said it's independent... it's probably only good to have if you're *actually* great. Like being pleased with your abilities is good at every level, but "I'm great and I know it" stops you from becoming great if you're not already.
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like -
Replying to @GeniesLoki
I think in the media there's a "cocky vs confident" distinction (Han Solo is a little on the cocky side which is why I gave him as an example) I've seen many action heroes celebrated for their confidence, when they don't overestimate themselves or underestimate their team
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes - Show replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.