FYI one thing that has come up in the DM responses to my thread last night is a few people noting that it would be interesting to see a similar analysis of male interaction norms and faux pas Unfortunately I am not very well equipped to speak to this for a variety of reasons
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@seconds_0 or@GeniesLoki seems like one of you might be able to give it a crack if you felt so inclined?2 replies 0 retweets 10 likesShow this thread -
Replying to @liminal_warmth @seconds_0
Hmm. It's been a while since I've spent much time in male dominant spaces TBH - work was the only one I voluntarily spent time in, and I've been off doing my own thing for years now. Queer vs straight male spaces are also very different and I hardly know any straight men.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @seconds_0
Actually I would be very curious to see how queer male spaces differ too
My sense is that there aren’t usually huge differences between queer leaning female spaces and straight female spaces except perhaps some slight discussion topical variation2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes -
Replying to @liminal_warmth @seconds_0
So I think it depends again on the sort of queer male spaces. Gay men have their own different norms that I'm not that familiar with. Queer/bi men who I know tend to have a strong element of feminine coded behaviours.
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OK, here's one that is I think universal male but I've mostly seen be a problem with straight (and straightish) men. "Church of Interruption" in https://sambleckley.com/writing/church-of-interruption.html … is a very male coded dialogue pattern, but you can fuck it up by not letting people interrupt you.
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And this will make you very very unpopular very quickly.
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Like there's a thing that I think women experience as men trying to dominate the conversation but men experience as essentially a very dynamic conversation mode which is... not exactly combative but energetic with maybe a light element of competition?
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You are supposed to allow people to interrupt you in exchange for being allowed to interrupt the others. Similar to banter and teasing, this can quickly turn into bullying if the balance breaks and the same person is the "victim" too often.
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Right, exactly. Interrupt mode is very much a give and take, but done unskillfully it turns into entirely take, and this is a huge faux pas.
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