Without (1) and (2) you are not going to be safe to engage in negative self-talk because you can't be relied on to do it well enough for it to be a net positive. Without (3) the level of negative self-talk you can handle is zero so it doesn't matter how good you are at others.
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The reason I think CBT is helpful is that it helps create a certain degree of safety: You know you *can* break these thought loops as they come up, which allows you to safely approach them and gradually defuse them.
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This process of defusing is of course going to be at least a bit uncomfortable, because it requires you constantly going just outside your comfort zone.
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How do you get yourself to do that? Well... take everything I said above and apply it to itself. Mostly use noncoercion (this is exciting! I am excited to see what is in there!) and occasionally give yourself a kick up the arse (stop being lazy and eat your shadow!)
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In this thread I've tried to articulate what the correct amount might look like: Not so much an internal task master, but a little internal trickster god needling you out of your comfort zone, or a kind parent gently telling you that yes it's unfair but we gotta.
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A certain level of gentle cruelty is useful and very fun, and there are all sorts of ways to get that with others. It's a shame to deny yourself that too.
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End of conversation
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I used to be down on CBT, but recently I've seen that for some issues it is absolutely the right tool. Some mental issues are there because of habits of mind. The initial impetus for the problem is gone, but the mind is still reacting out of habit. CBT lets you create new ones.
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