One area people's intuitions seem very split on is whether it feels actively dangerous to have things that most people agree on but nobody is willing to say.
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that's good to hear. I remember the first time I felt it was when I heard of my friends making fun of gamers for being gross neckbeards around gamergate. I've just about always been a gamer but also radical left and I was surprised at how alienating the 'oh but not YOU' felt
Yeah, that sort of thing is the worst to be on the receiving end of with any identity. 
My version of that is having to have various conversations about the sorts of things I post in masculinity threads with some friends. It's... *usually* gone well.