GeniesLoki

i feel it less when i'm doing either dumb monotonous tasks that i can streamline, or something that requires a lot of brainpower and is also interesting. my current task is neither i go on twitter lol. or i don't and use 100500% of my willpower every second but it feels baad

Is going on Twitter what you do when you're understimulated or is that you do in order to prevent being understimulated? What does it feel like if you sit with your eyes closed for five minutes? (Set a timer or something)

definitely both haha, i don't usually wait until it starts being agonizing before distracting myself, unless the deadline is tomorrow same feeling, if i don't succeed in spacing out i keep thinking how boring this is and when is it finally over

What does it mean for something to be "boring" to you? How unpleasant is it? (I can stop if this isn't helpful BTW)

it's not really actively unpleasant it's more like the absence of pleasure? like it's not pleasurable so i have to use willpower to keep going but then i don't have any reward like i would if it was something hard but fun. not rewarding i guess

it's insightful but i'm not seeing yet how it can help with my current situation, i was waiting for an output like with akinator haha

Ha ha sadly no I have no decision tree of magic fixes. The idea of sequences of questions like this is that they're supposed to help you reframe the problem yourself. Also if I had such a solution I'd be much better off myself.

To the degree that I'm trying to lead you anywhere, I'd suggest that it might be worth looking into non-willpower based discomfort tolerance approaches? i.e. less "This is awful but I can force myself to do it" and more "This kinda sucks but it's manageable".