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many people i talk with about this claim "figuring out how you feel" is an incongruous notion
Yes but this is what being good at something feels like. You've internalised the steps that you'd do consciously if you were less good at it. Most people who haven't learned to dissociate a bit too well practice from early enough to not notice. Rest of us have to play catch up.
(also they're wrong and everyone benefits from training this skill it's just that it's like sight - most of the time you don't need to figure out what you're looking at but it's still a skill and e.g. a photographer is probably better at it than most)
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